This post has been a LOOOONG time coming, but I only just now had a fire lit under my ass to actually start the documentation process. First, a little backstory…
Seattle has an awesome local paper called The Stranger, who, starting in the Fall of 2013, set up a Worst Tattoo contest, where the winner of Seattle’s most godawful tattoo receives a free laser tattoo removal with the more advanced Picosure machine at Seattle Skin & Laser. I missed out on the deadline for the first year, so I patiently waited until November 2014 to enter the second round. As you may have guessed, I won. What was it that confused and horrified an entire metro area of readers? This guy:
OG Zophar
Awful, right? An old friend very aptly named him/her Zophar. That’s another story for another time. The story behind the tattoo isn’t as crazy as people wanted to believe. It was 2004 and I was 19, working very briefly as a piercing apprentice in a tattoo shop in Everett. One particularly slow summer day, the tattoo apprentice and I were bored and he told me to pick out a big tattoo so he could get some practice in. I don’t know what it was about the flash (YES, IT WAS FLASH!), but I picked this thing. IDIOT. I dearly wished I could have had this guy tattoo me years later, because he is a really amazing artist now. Just my luck!
Being young, extremely naive, and only having four smaller tattoos at the time, of course I loved it. It wasn’t until I started getting comments about the perceived sexuality of it that I started to regret it. I eventually planned to have it covered with something big and floral, but could never really come up with the money to begin a new piece. Plus, a lot of artists recommended that I have it lightened a bit because of all the harsh lines. Luckily, I happened upon the contest and entered immediately. According to Kelly O of The Stranger, I was the first official entrant D:
So after the winner was chosen (according to popular vote), I was hooked up with a consult with Seattle Skin & Laser’s U-Village location with Joanie. I got a prescription for a tube of lidocaine and was sent on my merry way, eagerly anticipating the arrival of December 2nd.
(Potentially graphic photos after the jump!)
I was instructed to cover the lines of the tattoo with the lidocaine, wrap it in saran wrap and let it sit for two hours before the appointment. And let me just say, the cream only does so much. I have an exceptional tolerance to pain, but this definitely hurt. I was handed a hose blasting out cold air to aim at the area, and that was probably the most helpful out of everything. The noise when the laser hits the ink can only be described as a rubber band snapping very quickly, over and over. Ouch. The whole procedure was quick, about 5 minutes, and the shading was already gone by the time we were done. Finally, progress!
After my first session
The Picosure is no joke. Especially if you have colors that are hard to zap with a regular Nd:YAG, like reds or greens. This thing started to fade immediately. It wasn’t without pain, however: the thing gets hot and feels like burning for a few days. After about two weeks from the initial treatment, the lines started to blister and then scab and fall off.
Around this time, this thing started to itch like crazy. Way worse than a healing tattoo does. Slapping and Aquaphor only does so much; it was freaking brutal!
The minimum waiting time in between sessions is about 8 weeks, so I went back for the second session on February 3rd. This time around, the blistering was crazy. I had to Google it just to make sure it was normal! I found out people with solid black or color tattoos have it a LOT worse than I do, and sometimes the whole area turns into a giant blister. Groooooosss.
For my third session, I had Sarah come with me since she’s been getting into tattooing and was curious about the process. She got to use the air hose on my leg and Joanie proclaimed her the “best assistant ever”. Lol. This round has been by far the easiest. Blistering occurred after the fourth day and scabs had appeared by the fifth. Hooray!
To be continued!
<3 Bre
